Entries in social styles (1)

What's Your "Social Style"?

One of your co-workers gets so much work done in a day it makes your head spin, but she tends to steamroll over everyone in the process.

Another co-worker is great with details and never misses a trick, but he tends to over-analyze everything and takes forever to make a simple decision.

One of your other co-workers is a nice person and a great listener and teammate. But by trying to please everyone, she fails to please anyone.

Yet another is always enthusiastic, fun to work with, and has a million ideas. Too bad he’s all over the place and never seems to follow up, follow through, or finish anything.

In their classic “Social Styles” model, Robert and Dorothy Bolton labeled the four personality types mentioned above as: Driver, Analytical, Amiable, and Expressive. Of these four types, which person would you most prefer to work with and why? Which one drives you insane? And, perhaps most importantly, which one are YOU?

1. Driver
“Let’s go! Let’s get the job done right now!” She is direct, decisive, and determined. She loves a challenge, is willing to take risks, works at a fast pace, and is all about getting results. However, the Driver can also be seen as impatient, insensitive, dictatorial, and domineering. You want Drivers on your team because they don’t stop til the work is done, but you better be ready to get out of their way.

2. Analytical
“Let’s get the job done — but let’s get it done right!” He is precise, logical, careful, and methodical. Slow and steady wins the race, and nothing slips through the cracks. The Analytical dots every i, crosses every t, and plays by the rules. But by striving for perfection, his “over-analysis paralysis” can often hold things up and drive everyone nuts.

3. Amiable
“Let’s get the job done, but let’s focus on the people!” She is warm, approachable, friendly, inclusive, a good listener, a peacemaker, and a team player. The Amiable is a people-pleaser who genuinely cares about others, doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, and seeks to make others happy. While focusing on people and relationships, however, she can often lose sight of the task at hand and fail to get things done in a timely manner. When the Amiable asks, “How was your weekend?” they’re not just being polite – they really do care and actually want to know.

4. Expressive
“Let’s get this done! We can do it!” He is energized and energizing, a big-picture thinker, optimistic, visionary, cheerleader, and juggler of numerous things at once. But in his enthusiasm, the Expressive may sometime lose sight of reality. Since he tries to do too much at once, the Expressive often has trouble focusing and is all over the map. He’s excited about the journey, but often doesn't reach the final destination (though he does tend to have a good time along the way).

 

We all possess aspects of each of the four styles, but we tend to gravitate toward one or two of them. My primary style is Analytical – I love to read and write, analyze issues, design creative solutions, and solve problems. But as a person who runs his own business, I also need to be proactive and decisive — a Driver. As a presenter, facilitator, and professor, when up in front of the room I need to be Expressive. And as an executive coach working one-on-one with my clients, I need to be Amiable.

So the key is to "Know thyself" and be able to leverage one's strengths...but also be able to push ourselves beyond our default style as situations and relationships warrant. To do so takes emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and self-regulation, as well as empathy and social skills. All of which can be developed and improved...if you are willing to work at it!

Each style brings with it its relative advantages and disadvantages. As an Analytical-Driver, I'm a big -- and fast -- reader, researcher, and critical thinker. I process information quickly and am decisive...with an emphasis and priority on getting things done right the first time -- in the most efficient and effective way possible; the way I think is the best way. Sometimes the only way. :) In the process of driving forward at a relentless speed with a goal of maximum efficiency, however, I may sometimes overlook (and over-run) people and relationships. But since I’m aware of this, I’m able to modify my behavior accordingly. Sometimes. Alright...occasionally. Actually, almost never. (But at least I am aware of it! :)

Making it Work
Self-awareness is critical, but it’s only part of the equation. To truly connect with, get along with, collaborate with, and influence others, we need to start by trying to identify their primary and secondary styles...and then adjust our behavior accordingly -- both to the person (or people) and to the situation.

So, when dealing with:

  • Drivers: Cut the small talk, pick up the pace, and get right down to business.
  • Analyticals: Make sure you did your homework. Prove that you know your stuff, and be prepared to defend your position with logic, facts, data, and evidence.
  • Amiables: Find common ground. Care. Connect with them on a personal level. And build trust.
  • Expressives: Demonstrate your enthusiasm. Pump up your energy, your pace, and your passion.

Lastly, as you can probably guess, the best teams are composed of a mix of all four styles. Since our natural tendency is to gravitate towards (and to hire) people who are just like us, with this awareness we can better leverage the power of diversity and inclusion. 

When Drivers, Analyticals, Amiables, and Expressives work together in a spirit of awareness, openness, understanding, and collaboration, you’ll find that as a “T.E.A.M,” Together Everyone Achieves More.